#78’s Significant Others Petition NASCAR to Put Season on Hold Until Summer

DENVER, CO – The significant others of NASCAR’s Furniture Row #78 based in Denver, CO plan to petition race executives to put the Sprint Car series on hold until the area is expected to have better weather.

“I had no idea that it would be up to me to clear the driveway once race season started,” said Catherine Tidd, girlfriend of one of the FRR Team Members.  “Since November, I have woken up to perfectly dry pavement.  I thought it just didn’t snow on my driveway.  I had no idea that he got up at 5 AM to do it every morning.”

Proud of herself for figuring out how to start the snowblower on her own, since her boyfriend was otherwise occupied getting ready for the Gatorade Duel in Daytona, Catherine thought she had everything under control until disaster struck.

“It was bad enough when I ran over my local community paper,” she said, shuddering.  “But when I sucked up The Denver Post, it was all over.”

“Not only that,” she continued, her eyes filling with tears, “but I was snowblowing in such an erratic pattern that I think I plowed the driveway at least 3 times.  My neighbors were pointing and laughing.  I’ve already made an appointment with my therapist.”

Because of such trials, the entire team of wives and significant others plan to appeal to NASCAR and ask that race season be contained to the months of June – September so that the team members will be home to dig them out before they wake up in the morning. 

“I know it’s too late to save this season,” Catherine said.  “But I’m holding out hope for next year.  Until then, I’ll just have to gun my minivan to reverse out of the driveway and hope for the best.”

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Gentlemen...Start Your Engines. Ladies...Start Your Corkscrews

Well.  It’s here.  As the gentlemen start their engines…their significant others prepare themselves for a long season of praying for a decent National Anthem before each race and gritting their teeth while watching that stupid gopher run across the screen (which, incidentally, reminds me a lot of the Quiznos rodent, another Marketing move I have yet to understand). 

I’ll never forget Mike watching a race with me when he was off the road, recovering from surgery last year.  After the first 30 minutes of “pre-race festivities” he looked at me in disbelief and said, “Is this what you watch every weekend?”

Yes.  But not always by choice.  Mainly because if I don’t and he asks me, “Can you believe what happened on lap 5,098???”…I feel bad if I don’t have an answer for him because I was watching a particularly riveting House Hunters International.

So on February 16^th, we will bid them all farewell until November like we’re sending them off on a freighter to China.  And when the season is done, we will look at them, after 38 weekends on the road and say, “And you are…?”

(Side note:  I actually did that to my late husband once when he came home unexpectedly from a long business trip to surprise me.  He rang the doorbell and I answered the front door and said, “Can I help you?”  He looked at me like I was nuts and said, “Cath.  It’s me.”  Not my proudest moment as a wife.)

Anyway, just like every couple who has someone on the road with a NASCAR team, this is a true test of if you have what it takes to make it for the long haul…because you’re basically in a long-distance relationship.  You live on phone calls (with bad signal if you are unfortunate enough to have a cell phone carrier other than Sprint because they’re just plain mean about blocking everyone else), texts, and hugs that smell like burnt gear oil when they come home late Sunday night (a smell that will stick around until they leave again…nothing gets that shit out).

The other test as a couple comes when they come home in November and mess up your schedule (and can’t figure out why), add to your grocery list, and are just generally around all of the time when for the other 9 months of the year, they were constantly absent.  At this point, you’re either grateful for their return, or start texting their magical travel manager (who will remain nameless), asking her when in the hell the season is starting up again. 

Either way, leaving or going, takes some adjustment.  As with anything in life, you tend to get into a routine no matter what is thrown your way.  And I’m hoping that this year, my routine will include some sort of Women In Support of NASCAR Operators or WISNOs (sorry girls…I tried to make it WINOs, but I needed that S in the middle.  Which kind of makes us sound like drunks with bladder problems, now that I look at it).

Believe me.  We'll be a lot more supportive after a few glasses of wine.



Photo Credit:
I actually "stole" this photo from another woman's blog who has a few short stories under "Wine Trip Chick."  Click here to get her NASCAR Sangria recipe.

NASCAR (off) BEAT: Due to Budget Cuts, NASCAR Teams Will Use Spare Tire in Trunk

CHARLOTTE, NC – In a shocking announcement today, on what is almost the eve of the Daytona 500, NASCAR officials have decided to limit the number of tire sets they allow each team to have during a race, due to budget constraints.  Once those tires have been used, they will have to pull out the spare tire in the trunk.

“This really makes the most sense,” says Mike Helton, President of the National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing.  “We talked about cutting back in other areas like duct tape and catering, but tires are what really eat up our budget.”

Needless to say, this has come as a surprise to teams across the country that have been testing their cars for the 2012 season on the four Goodyear tires they’ve used year after year.  With one more test to go before the start of the season, officials will see how the cars are affected by using one spare on the track and teams will do their best to figure out, if all of the tires are worn, which tire will benefit most from new rubber.

“It will be hard to configure a car that will race well on four racing tires for ¾ of the race…and then a donut towards the finish,” says Chad Krauch, Tire Specialist for Furniture Row Racing.  “But we always do our best to comply with NASCAR’s requirements.  When they say jump, we ask how high.  So if they say donut…we say eat it.”

We Got Your Back. ALL of Us.

I noticed something interesting this last week, as Mike and I continue to try and dip our toes into the world of step-parenting, and that is the way we handle things when something we feel is unfair is happening to one of our kids at school.  But it's in the way that you might think. 

Because what really gets us hot under the collar is when it’s happening to one of the three kids we’re not actually related to by blood.

This happened last year when my oldest daughter was having an issue in her 4th grade classroom during the last few weeks of school.  I went in for a meeting with her teachers to discuss how I felt my child was getting bullied (and have them assure me that she wasn’t…something I thought teachers weren’t really supposed to do).  Obviously, I left that meeting feeling annoyed and like nothing had been taken care of.  But knowing that she only had 3 weeks left, I was more willing to let it go.

Mike, on the other hand, was a little angrier about it and I had to restrain him before he went down to the classroom and told those incompetent teachers what he really thought of them in a very descriptive, 4-letter adjective-y kind of way.

We found ourselves in a similar situation recently…but the tables were turned.  His oldest son came home and told Mike about a problem he was having with one of his teachers at school and while Mike was annoyed…he didn’t seem half as angry about it as I was.  In fact, as he was typing an email to the teacher asking to meet with her to discuss the problem, I actually grabbed his phone out of his hand and said, “No.  This is what you’re going to say.” And started typing away.

That unfortunate teacher found herself on the business end of my hormonal upswing.  But in a polite way.

It’s funny how when we look at each other’s kids we think, “There is no way he/she could be in the wrong.”  But when we look at our own, we sit back and say, “Huh.  I wonder what he/she might have done to bring that on.” 

It may have something to do with the fact that we haven’t been around each other’s kids from birth to now.  So while each of us has seen how uncooperative our own kids can be…we’re still figuring out that side of the kids who aren’t our own.  For example, Mike’s son has never argued with me the way Mike assures me he’s capable of and Mike has never found himself dealing with the hissy fit that I know my daughter can produce.  So it’s easy for us to get angry about what’s going on with the other person’s kids and think, “He/she would never do that.”

I guess we’re both (and the kids) are pretty lucky that at this point in our lives, we find ourselves so invested in each other and have steeped the kids in so much support that they have extra people around who will think the best of them no matter what.  That’s really not such a bad thing.

But for those people out there who think they can get away with dealing one of our kids an unfair hand…you better watch it.

‘Cause we’re 8 strong and we’re not afraid to use it.

The NASCAR (off) Beat: Vespa Announces Its Intention to Sponsor a Sprint Cup NASCAR Team

CHARLOTTE, NC – In a surprising move, scooter manufacturer, Vespa, announced today that they will be participating in the 2012 NASCAR season.

“It’s about time we took our feat of engineering out for a spin to show the public what we can really do,” a spokesman for the company said.  “Our theory is ‘slow and steady loses the race’ and we intend to prove that by racing at a rational speed of 30 miles per hour, we have the best chance of any team to leave the track unscathed.”

This announcement has had NASCAR fans wondering who their driver might be.  And it looks like they will have to wait no more:  Joe Nemechek has agreed to get behind the wheel of the new Vespa car and do what he can to make sure they finish dead last.

“I was worried for a minute that I wouldn’t get the shot,” Nemechek said when we interviewed him.  “I’ve spent years working on my last place finish at every race.  I hated the thought of Vespa swooping in and taking it from me.  Now, we can work together and ensure that when fans think ‘P43’…they think of the Vespa team.”

“It’s about time a team provided the cleaning crew something to look at while they’re picking up the stands,” says Vespa.  “By completing each race in an unprecedented 10 hours, we plan to fill that need.”

Potential contingency sponsors include the Coalition for Medical Marijuana, Birkenstock, and Comfort Dental. 

Photo Credit

The Look of NASCAR

By the title of this blog, I know that you are thinking that I’m going to write something about people who look like this:

But I’m not.  I’m sure I will another time, after I’ve had a few beverages.  What I’m talking about is actually the look you get when you tell someone that you (or your significant other) works for a NASCAR team.

I wonder if the teams down south go through this.  But here in Denver, once it comes out of your mouth, you immediately have to gauge the recipient’s reaction.  Because it will be one of two things:

They’ll either think it’s really cool.

Or they’ll think you just landed here from Planet Redneck.

Apparently I’m not the only one who has noticed this since when I brought up the idea for this blog to Mike’s oldest son, his response was, “That happens to me all the time!”  I, personally, discovered this early on, when Mike and I started dating.  When I would tell my friends what he did, I would usually get a thoughtful glance and a “huh.”  And then I would immediately have to rush in with, “But he has all of his own teeth and I’ve only heard him say ‘let’s git ‘er done’ once since we’ve been dating!”

Now, when I get that reaction from a stranger, I feel the need to explain in depth how technical the sport actually is (which usually requires me to start from the beginning about why it’s even considered a sport) and that it involves more than just pushing a button, setting up the cruise control, eating your Subway sandwich, and turning left.  And my “technical” explanation about how it all works (since I don’t understand technology at all and I think the operating system on my computer is electricity), is usually pretty sub-par.

When Mike and I go out, I can tell by his mood whether or not he wants to tell people what he does.  If we sit down at the bar next to a stranger and start in on a conversation, it’s pretty obvious by his body language when he’s thinking, “Please don’t ask me what I do.  Because that will require me to listen to your story about the race you almost went to in 1985 but couldn’t because your truck couldn’t carry all of your cousins and then I’ll have to agree to take you on a tour of the shop that you won’t remember you agreed to in the morning.”

I would imagine that if you live and work on a team anywhere near Charlotte, when you tell someone what you do, the first thing they’ll ask you is, “What team?”  But in Colorado, it’s usually met with, “We have a team?”  And then you have to get into the history of why Furniture Row is here in Denver in the first place and how you ended up here yourself.

This could take hours.

By then your date has left the conversation to go play pool with the people who work in the finance department of Century Link because further explanation on that job is not necessary and they have copious amounts of time to perfect their game.

Well.  Maybe that’s just me.

And the Countdown Begins....

For most people watching football these last few weekends, you probably got up to get a beer when the commercials started and didn't pay much attention to what was going on when the action broke on the field.  We were doing the same thing but somehow we managed to sit our beer-drinking behinds down on the couch and saw the announcement that made us cringe.

The upcoming Daytona 500.

For most race fans, the announcement of the Daytona 500 was something to celebrate (especially if you were rooting for an NFL team in the AFC West and, therefore, your football season was over around mid-November).  But for those of us who feel like the race season just ended and the start of it means the end of weekends as we know it...it didn't get us all that excited.

Personally, I would like to thank NASCAR® for delaying the season just a bit so that Mike will actually be home for Valentine's Day this year.  I know that this delay has race husbands all over the country wondering what in the hell they're going to get their significant others now that they can't surprise her with a romantic trip to a race track and a candlelit dinner in their campers.  But for the first time since Mike and I have been together...I actually get to see him physically scramble around to try and figure out what to get me for Valentine's Day.  Because the excuse, "I can't do much because I'll be at the track" just won't fly this year.
Can't wait to see his romantic ass in action.

And for those race husbands...sorry, guys.  Guess you'll just have to surprise her with a die cut car of her favorite team.  Every woman's wish come true.

The #78 team is doing what I'm assuming every other team out there is doing:  Never able to just sit back and relax during the 8 weekends they actually have off every year, they started working on the 2012 season the second the 2011 season ended.  Oh sure, about half the team took a few days off to get married at the beginning of the off-season (if you're a commitment phobe...don't drink the water at the shop), but as soon as they came back, it was back to the daily grind of making a car go at the speed of light.

They spent last weekend (yes, one of their precious weekends off) testing in...you guessed it...Daytona.  One can only assume that NASCAR was worried that teams across the country might get too used to sleeping in on a Saturday and form a movement to have race day moved to Wednesday.

But NASCAR shouldn't worry.  I can only speak for what goes on in my house, but thanks to 38 weekends of getting up at 4 AM (what are you NASCAR execs?  A bunch of dairy farmers or something?), Mike hasn't slept past 7 AM since I've known him.

So, now the countdown is on.  And we have a mere 5 weeks until the start of the season that never ends.  Mike and I will scramble to fit in a year's worth of a social life in the 5 weekends remaining.  And once that happens, we will see each other for about 4 hours every week because, between 6 kids and all of their activities, we are completely booked up on the days that he's in town.

Guess it's time to start our engines.

Photo Credit