#78’s Significant Others Petition NASCAR to Put Season on Hold Until Summer

DENVER, CO – The significant others of NASCAR’s Furniture Row #78 based in Denver, CO plan to petition race executives to put the Sprint Car series on hold until the area is expected to have better weather.

“I had no idea that it would be up to me to clear the driveway once race season started,” said Catherine Tidd, girlfriend of one of the FRR Team Members.  “Since November, I have woken up to perfectly dry pavement.  I thought it just didn’t snow on my driveway.  I had no idea that he got up at 5 AM to do it every morning.”

Proud of herself for figuring out how to start the snowblower on her own, since her boyfriend was otherwise occupied getting ready for the Gatorade Duel in Daytona, Catherine thought she had everything under control until disaster struck.

“It was bad enough when I ran over my local community paper,” she said, shuddering.  “But when I sucked up The Denver Post, it was all over.”

“Not only that,” she continued, her eyes filling with tears, “but I was snowblowing in such an erratic pattern that I think I plowed the driveway at least 3 times.  My neighbors were pointing and laughing.  I’ve already made an appointment with my therapist.”

Because of such trials, the entire team of wives and significant others plan to appeal to NASCAR and ask that race season be contained to the months of June – September so that the team members will be home to dig them out before they wake up in the morning. 

“I know it’s too late to save this season,” Catherine said.  “But I’m holding out hope for next year.  Until then, I’ll just have to gun my minivan to reverse out of the driveway and hope for the best.”

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NASCAR (off) BEAT: Due to Budget Cuts, NASCAR Teams Will Use Spare Tire in Trunk

CHARLOTTE, NC – In a shocking announcement today, on what is almost the eve of the Daytona 500, NASCAR officials have decided to limit the number of tire sets they allow each team to have during a race, due to budget constraints.  Once those tires have been used, they will have to pull out the spare tire in the trunk.

“This really makes the most sense,” says Mike Helton, President of the National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing.  “We talked about cutting back in other areas like duct tape and catering, but tires are what really eat up our budget.”

Needless to say, this has come as a surprise to teams across the country that have been testing their cars for the 2012 season on the four Goodyear tires they’ve used year after year.  With one more test to go before the start of the season, officials will see how the cars are affected by using one spare on the track and teams will do their best to figure out, if all of the tires are worn, which tire will benefit most from new rubber.

“It will be hard to configure a car that will race well on four racing tires for ¾ of the race…and then a donut towards the finish,” says Chad Krauch, Tire Specialist for Furniture Row Racing.  “But we always do our best to comply with NASCAR’s requirements.  When they say jump, we ask how high.  So if they say donut…we say eat it.”