CHARLOTTE, NC – In a surprising move, scooter manufacturer, Vespa, announced today that they will be participating in the 2012 NASCAR season.
“It’s about time we took our feat of engineering out for a spin to show the public what we can really do,” a spokesman for the company said. “Our theory is ‘slow and steady loses the race’ and we intend to prove that by racing at a rational speed of 30 miles per hour, we have the best chance of any team to leave the track unscathed.”
This announcement has had NASCAR fans wondering who their driver might be. And it looks like they will have to wait no more: Joe Nemechek has agreed to get behind the wheel of the new Vespa car and do what he can to make sure they finish dead last.
“I was worried for a minute that I wouldn’t get the shot,” Nemechek said when we interviewed him. “I’ve spent years working on my last place finish at every race. I hated the thought of Vespa swooping in and taking it from me. Now, we can work together and ensure that when fans think ‘P43’…they think of the Vespa team.”
“It’s about time a team provided the cleaning crew something to look at while they’re picking up the stands,” says Vespa. “By completing each race in an unprecedented 10 hours, we plan to fill that need.”
Potential contingency sponsors include the Coalition for Medical Marijuana, Birkenstock, and Comfort Dental.
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